Acting As If

I just came across an interesting Slate article on evil and neuroscience. Contrary to how I just wrote that sentence, it's not suggesting that neuroscience is evil!

Actually, the article talks about how neuroscientists suggest thttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhat evil may not really exist--that evil acts can all be blamed on faulty wiring. Extending this idea, some neuroscientists would posit that all that wiring means that we don't really have free will; in other words, "my brain made me do it."

I've been interested in the problem of evil for a while, and wrote two platforms on it: one about evil specifically, one connecting evil to fear. And now I'm really interested in the interaction of evil and free will.

For me, though, the best part of the Slate article is an ethicist's suggestion, toward the end, that we act "as if" we had free will to choose between good and evil. I love the concept of acting "as if" and I use it in my life. I've written here about acting "as if" the world bends toward justice, whether it does or not, and I also act "as if" people are all connected in a deep and spiritual way. And frankly, I don't care much if they are. I like the effects on my life of acting as if.

How about you? Does it work to act "as if?" Or does it feel more important to know the truth? Can we know the truth? What is most effective as you seek to live the life you hope to live?

Everyday Awareness: Sorting Socks

I do a lot of laundry. Actually, my husband really does the laundry; my job is folding and sorting. The scenario is usually the same: me on the bed, at the very end of the evening, surrounded by a huge pile of clothes--some inside out, some stuck together with that ferocious static cling, some balled up and still damp.

Since I have to fold the laundry one way or another, I figure I might as well do it with some attention to the moment, some mindfulness. Spiritual sorting, if you like.

Here's what I was aware of last night:

I sort socks last, after everything else has been folded. When I first approach the pile of socks, which belong to four different people and range from very tiny and mostly pink to large and mostly black, I have a moment of despair. It's too much, I'll never find the matches, I've reached the limit of my tolerance for laundry. But as I begin to sort, the matches make themselves clear. What once looked like a huge mass of black socks, all the same, start to distinguish themselves--these have a slight herringbone pattern, those have a little pinstripe. As each match is found and set aside, the remaining socks and their matches become clearer. Order emerges from the chaos, and I can see which socks really don't have matches; I scoop them up and put them to the side, where they await the next load of laundry and the hope of finding their mates once again.

How many things in life, I wonder, are we unable to see because of all the balled up socks lying around them? What matches would emerge if we began to clear the clutter, if we matched first the easy ones--the bright pink, the rainbow stripes--and then allowed our eyes to adjust to the subtler shades, to see with clarity the variations presented to us?

A little mindfulness while sorting socks.

Santa Claus and Inherent Worth

Christmas with a four-year-old, I have found, is very Santa-centric. I think my daughter could have skipped the rest of her presents as long as she new the big guy with the white beard had come, eaten the cookie she left for him, and filled her stocking.

The whole thing had me wondering about why the gifts from Santa are always the most exciting, even if they're not the biggest or the most expensive. Of course there's an element of magic and fun which Santa brings. But I wonder if there's not something deeper...something about our worth in the universe.

Our parents (when we're four) have to get us presents, of course...just the way they have to love us. But to receive presents from, and to be seen and noticed and cared for by, this magical and unrelated individual seems somehow more wonderful. My daughter picked up a little from some books about the naughty-nice list, and she was very clear that she was on Santa's good side, and that he'd be sure to bring her presents. Somewhere in there, I think, is an affirmation of her place in the world, her worth as an individual, and the love that the world returns to her.

So how do we tap into that affirmation in a religious community? For some, it's found in a call to connection with God, or with the divine understood broadly as love. For others, it's found in each other--that is, we can be Santa, and affirm someone's worthiness, when we give them our love just for being who they are. Another human being.

I'm thinking about all of this as I prepare for my address on Sunday, focusing on inherent worth and dignity, a key value in both Unitarian Universalism and Ethical Culture. Will Santa make an appearance in my remarks? Maybe so. You never can tell where that jolly guy will show up next.

Resources from Platform - "Don't Worry, Be Happy!"

A member of WES asked today if I would share some of the resources I drew on for this morning's platform, called "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" and addressing the human experience of anxiety and the many different ways that religion tries to relieve us of anxiety.

So...sure! I looked at a lot of sources for this platform, because I wanted to offer a taste of many religious traditions' approaches. I drew from Matthew 6:28-34 in the New Testament, and from the Book of Job and Ecclesiastes in the Hebrew Bible. Both of those traditions, it seemed to me, invited people to see themselves as part of the much larger universe, and to search for a sense of trust as well.

Then I looked at Buddhism and Taoism, drawing especially from the Tao Te Ching in a great translation by Stephen Mitchell. I found so much wisdom in the Tao Te Ching; two phrases that especially resonated were "The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled.” and “Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.” These traditions call us to let go of the need for control and to try to experience ourselves as both separate from and somehow also one with the whole universe.

At the very end of platform I quoted from Roger Walsh, a psychologist who wrote a really practical (think workbook) guide to spirituality that can appeal to many different theological viewpoints.

So there you have it! Some of what I drew on for this morning's platform. But what I REALLY want to know is what you think about it. How do you deal with anxiety in your life? What practices, resources, and ideas do you have to share?

Who's In Your Family?

You know those family stickers people put on the back of their cars? You can get a little mother, little father, kid playing soccer, baby, even your dog and cat. I find them entertaining to look at while I'm stuck in traffic.

But they get me thinking about how we define family, who we put up there on the back of our car. My daughter, when talking about her family, sometimes includes her grandparents and her cousins, and always includes our cat Mara, who died two years ago. Those people would not all fit in our car, and it would be really bad if we toted around a deceased animal. But in some way that is clear to her, they are part of our family...and I guarantee that if we had family car stickers they'd need to be up there.

So what makes up a family? The people who drive in our vehicle? Our children, grown up and moved away? The friends who join us every year for Thanksgiving? How about single people--they may be the primary person in their car, but their sense of family surely includes folks who don't happen to drive around with them all the time. Who would you need to include in your family stickers?

Fear and Courage

I often say the best platforms are conversations--and this morning a member of WES shared a comment with me during coffee hour that I wanted to keep thinking about and share with you.

First, she had a great quote which basically sums up part of my platform. It's attributable to Susan Jeffers: "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Love it when seven words say what I took 15 minutes to get around to!

But more, I loved what this person said next. She thought--and I agree--that what we're talking about when we talk about being scared and doing it anyway is really courage. Courage is so often seen as getting past fear or being brave without fear, but I think it's much more about experiencing fear and standing up, moving forward, taking a challenge on anyway.

What do you think? What do fear and courage mean for you?

Waving in the Rear-view Mirror

Apparently I do most of my philosophical musings in the car, because here's another post about traffic.

Or perhaps it's not philosophical musings, it's really just moments of annoyance. Although I don't have a terrible commute, it does have the usual hassles of people cutting me off, or zipping over the one-way bridge when I'm clearly the next in line, or obliviously not pulling forward when there's a lot of space in front of them and it would make the traffic pattern so much better.

Ahem.

Why do these things drive me so crazy? They're hardly major transgressions, and I imagine the people doing them are just not aware, or late to pick up a child, or any other number of very reasonable excuses.

I think the trick is that I have to imagine, though...that I don't have a chance to ask the people driving, or really to have a relationship with them at all. We're so much more able to forgive transgressions--large and small--when we have a solid relationship with the person transgressing. And we're better able to understand the context and realize that perhaps it's not a transgression after all!

All of this is what makes me an avid rear-view mirror waver. I wave when I'm let in to a line of traffic, or when I accidentally cut someone off and I'm sorry, or really anytime when I feel a tiny bit of relationship building might be helpful. Want to join me in my waving campaign?